The DINK Blog

I know I am. So far FEMALE_DINK and I have had two early days of xmas this year. On Monday she brought home a Stanton T.90 turntable as a “house gift.” We’ve both been talking about picking up a vintage record player or a new turntable, now we have one! So far I’ve made 1 trip to two different Record Exchange stores and have walked away with 5 albums for $20, not bad. Yesterday was xmas to myself when the new Dave Matthews Band album Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King arrived on vinyl. I’ve never really understood the comment that vinyl sounds warm, I get it now. The sound is amazing and it still confuses me how much intricate sound can come from vinyl.

Last night we had a min-xmas by each opening two of our gifts. FEMALE_DINK hit a home run with my “I Like Cougars….. medium rare” apron. I’m in the kitchen every night cooking without an apron (occasionally borrowing her girly one). This is perfect for me, although I’ll have to upgrade when I reach an age that cougars are no longer cool for me to chase. Now we’re off to xmas eve at my cousin’s house and then xmas at my rents house. We’re also working out some plans to meet up with her family later this weekend/start of next week. Since this is my favorite holiday, extending it for 4-5 days (or 12) is more than welcome! This is shaping up to be a great xmas, maybe next year we’ll have to join some of our friends in doing a full 12 days of xmas with a gift for each other every day… that’ll be interesting.

I had been anxiously awaiting my first dinner at L’albatros for almost a year, and it certainly did not disappoint. There were not enough yummy adjectives to explain the appeal of our entire experience. And wow, the FOOD!

I started the liquid portion of our happy hour with a lavender sidecar – it was a bit on the “herby” side, and became tiresome picking pieces of plant from my mouth and teeth. I quickly switched to a Highball with George Dickel (I haven’t learned my lesson with whiskey). Great switch.

The highlight of the restaurant experience was the “cheese guy.” This maitre d’fromage paraded the space with his giant board of cheeses, for us to (salivate over and) select creamy precursors for our meal. We opted for the seven cheese platter, including a stinky cheese, a bleu, a truffle cheese… I was lost in all his suggestions. I complimented him graciously. And perhaps embarrassed him slightly.

The four of us combined appetizers, and ordered the snails (which I obviously couldn’t eat, but everyone loved them), braised leeks (disappointing with zero crispiness, but the spicy mustard was perfection), chicken liver and fois gras and the pork rillettes. The pork was the table favorite, with the liver being a close, close second.

I was the only guest of our party who ordered a salad – the seasonal greens special with apples was delightful. I love salads, but certainly could have done without, predicting how many courses I intended to finish.

For the main course, I struggled with a decision, as many items sounded incredible (and I really, really wanted fish, but didn’t want to chance a food intolerance). I settled on the veal short ribs. The wild mushroom risotto was excellent and flavorful, although I found the veal itself disappointingly chewy and all-over heavy. After sampling the other dinner dishes, I will certainly order the Pork Two Ways on my return.

MALE DINK’s lamb jus had a strange, almost perfume-y aftertaste — we settled on it perhaps being an excess of anise/fennel, but it definitely did not resemble the rosemary family. It was… different, especially after the flavors in my dish.

For dessert, MD and I split the Cherry Compote Canele. It was heavenly.

The service was incredibly attentive, and non-instrusive. We were consistently supplied with water and asked for drink refills, and the courses were timed perfectly (even the randomness of the cheese visitor). Surprisingly, our friend received his dessert with a candle on it. The waiter overheard our conversation about his birthday — talk about service!

I cannot wait for my next visit to L’albatros! With the exceptional appetizers list, I may just stick to a few small plates for portion-controlled courses.

And more cheese guy.

I cannot believe that our blog has been so neglected. Two months of no posts? That’s no way to capture an audience.

Be that as it may, I was thinking about cheese a lot over the course of the week. Mainly because I’ve had to abstain from excess nibbling resulting from my vacation diet plan. (In four weeks, I’ll be back to my regular munching).

MALE DINK & I hit up Melt Bar & Grilled last weekend before our holiday shopping activities. Herein, lies the mother of all grilled cheese sandwiches — the Mighty Macaroni Melt:

I added bacon.

So, back to cheeses. I love feta. Inside the West Side Market, the Mediterrean store/deli has a variety of fetas. My favorite being the Hungarian — it has a wonderful pungent and balanced taste, while staying crumbly-dry as a Greek. Last week, we tried the Bulgarian Feta in one our recipes, which is a little sweeter in taste yet a similar consistency to the Hungarian. THIS week, we bought the French Feta, and were salivating at its goat-cheese-esque taste and creaminess. It is delicious.

I’m one of those weird food combination people (no, not pregnant, thanks) — today, I put some of the French Feta in my leftover rice and mixed it up with a little sour cream. It is yummy. Which I mistakenly followed up with a couple slices of plain cucumber. Meh. Although, if I keep the rest of the cheese block on my desk any longer, it will be eaten as Lunch #2 in less than an hour.

Days Off: Vacation in three weeks! Well, kind of a mini-vacation prior to that too — we’re heading to Indy to spend New Year’s Eve(and a couple days) with friends. Then, it’s to Tampa, and Caribbean cruise time!

Intermission: I went to the Near West Theater a couple weeks ago to check out “The Wiz” with Cleveland Caper. Lame. It was lacking… something. Although impressed by the green glasses effect of the Emerald City, The Wiz at the end of the First Act was truly the only bright moment of this performance. We left shortly thereafter.

Naughty or Nice?: I think I’ve been damn nice this year! My heart is defrosting a bit for all these holiday shenanigans. Shopping has been relatively painless; I think I have some great gift ideas. Let’s see if we can do another year of “surprises.” Doubtful, it was hard enough with shipping to our together-apartment address this year! So, Merry Christmas and all that sappy non-Jesus shit. And you know, it’s only that much closer to St. Patrick’s Day… Now, THAT’S a Saint whom I’m willing to celebrate!

Kids Picture Christmas cards: This year, it seems to be de riguer. Oh, the joy of your 30s (for me). I was happy for at least ONE with a cute dog on the front. Does everyone do family Christmas picture greetings now? Because, I am SO ready to do something ridiculous for next year. Even if I’m actually impressed I mailed cards out this year!

And not wanting them… not wanting them to interfere with my own life, really.

Standing in line for the toilet for ten minutes at Blossom this summer made me want to ice-pick my eardrums and drown myself in a Port-O-Pot. Same place, different location in Blossom (ugh, the lawn). This time only in my chair, having to endure a child kick my seat over-and-over-and-over until I had to turn around and give the Stink Eye. Ooh, I love the Stink Eye. It trumps Stinky Diaper. Any time.

And speaking of stinky baby traditions in general… baby showers (mostly because I have like 11 friends who are currently pregnant). Shopping for gifts for baby showers, more specifically. I hate it. In fact, I loathe shopping in general (I do much better with online shopping carts), but with baby gifts I am wholly lost. I love gift certificates and pitching in for gifts. It leaves the angst of purchasing the proper item out of my scope of responsibilities. Certain things just escape me. I mean, there are emotional situations that I just cannot comprehend when it comes to sharing, giving and the like. Situation: it’s Saturday night, and I’m young (yes, I’m STILL young, asshats who feel they need to “grow up” so soon), and the last thing I want to do is paint a nursery. YOUR nursery. That’s why you have husbands, right? You’re already pregnant; you can’t use them for sex anymore — so, household “Honey Do” lists trump sexy time. Yet, I am a very, very bad person (assumed) for thinking in this manner. Perhaps I should hang more with the babies. A pout and a wail, and I could get everything to go my way. And you all know how I giggle upon hearing “nipple.” Heh. Leave that responsibility to me.

Admittedly, I am a selfish person (we all have our flaws, and I have embraced mine), but I like to think that I am just a little thoughtful when I put my mind and heart to something. And sorry, you have to prove yourself worthy. ‘Tis true.

You would be surprised to learn that I enjoy attending baby showers more than wedding showers. It’s not just for the Baby Bingo though because I always win the door prize. Wedding showers seem redundant — you’re already intending on marriage (and subsequently receiving a gift and/or money) and having one last bash with a bachelorette party (where your sexy friends are buying dirty lingerie). Everyone invited to the shower is invited to the wedding and vice versa. It does not make sense, and I typically won’t go. It’s nothing against anyone in particular really, and yes, everyone tells me that “one day it will all be reciprocated” or even “just come. You don’t have to bring anything.” Oh boy, believe me, if you went to a wedding, shower, birthday, what-have-you in my family, “people” TALKED about you. And I’m certain, more than once about me. I have no problems gracing yourselves with my presence empty handed. Or empty hearted, but I digress. Baby showers are kinda cute. It’s a sliver of hope that maybe your baby won’t turn into the screaming brat in public spaces.

(Tangent) I’m sorry, but I don’t need people to feel obligated to spend his or her OWN money on ME. Seriously. It’s similar to Christmas (a whole other post to come, believe me). Honestly, I’d rather add that extra $40-$60 to my already seriously-week Roth IRA. Or you know, a new pair of boots. Or, even, paying my health insurance premium. Depends on my mood. Regardless, I hate being judged as a certain character by how I spend my own money. And yes, most of those means are of enjoying my life while I am young. I will not have kids to interfere, so I imagine that “immature adult” (so-called) period will last a whole lifetime longer than yours.

Don’t get me started on second weddings either.

I hate that we women have to be subjected (or worse, guilt-tripped) into these lame celebrations: engagement parties, wedding showers, housewarming parties (um, yeah, I didn’t even get one of these… apparently since I bought my place “alone” it was rendered invalid), candle parties, baby showers… I get it. Strippers and family don’t mix. They are all mostly serious (the fam, definitely not the naked ladies). Somber, even. I have had more laughs at a funeral (as it should be). And that’s the problem — everyone treats these parties as such. Oh, life is over because you’re getting married! Or I can no longer have sex on the couch because the baby is watching! Don’t get me started on people who just STOP having sex drives altogether upon either getting hitched or squeezing watermelons out of a vagina. I don’t understand (or sympathize) with people at ALL who do not enjoy having sex. Not at all. It goes against nature. You’re going about it the WRONG way. You’re settling (and seriously, get a ROOM!), and it’s depressing.

Babies add a small percentage of heartwarming value to my life, sure. But I’m just not ready to give up my individuality (I worked so hard obtaining the “Biggest Individual” award Senior year). And please spare me with, “you’ll change your mind.” I love your children — truly, I do — but I do not want to be a mother. Or *shiver* a grandmother. I have found it hard to hold myself accountable for my own actions, so how the hell am I supposed to be responsible for another person’s life… AND monetary good will. I mean, sure, we can all have babies while we’re poor, but much like me, you will grow to resent that you were “unplanned” and that nobody ever thought to save for a college fund.

(End tangent?)

I’m definitely more of a “bachelorette party” kinda girl. I have been a party girl my entire life (ask my mom… on second though, don’t. She feels I’m better off in rehab). So help me that I actually enjoy my life. Geesh. But really, I am what’s left of maybe three bachelorettes. So, my party should be a fantastic climax, of course. It will probably be coed (I guess you kids call that a “threeway” these days). And there will be more naked girls than guys. Just saying.

And I’m all RSVP-yes for sex toy party when you invite me.

Alright, I’m tired of the hypocrisy I see every day within the Republican Party. Yes, this does not apply to all Republicans. Regardless, all of you should be ashamed. I would like to think that the majority of you are intelligent enough to run from such a party that repeatedly denigrates your image as a religious man or woman. I think I’ve now come to the realization that the majority of Americans do not posses the brain capacity to apply any level of intelligent thought. Reasoning is out the door. Logic doesn’t apply. Critical Thinking, what is that? Ok, so the lack of a brain in America is a different post topic, but related. On with hypocrisy….

1. You block health-care reform. Shouldn’t the “religious party” be the ones driving reform? As a person of faith, wouldn’t you want to provide health-care options for the poor, sick, homeless, low income, jobless? WWJD.
2. You favor the rich. I don’t recall religious books suggesting that the wealthy become more wealthy so that some of that can trickle down to the poor. WWJD.
3. You hate homosexuals. Why does a person of faith that “loves thy neighbor” not support equal rights for all people regardless of race, gender, religion, political views and sexual orientation. Stop selecting parts of scripture that you like and ignoring others that are obviously more significant teachings. WWJD.
4. You are still racist. Read #3. WWJD.
5. You dislike foreigners (non-Americans). Really? Yes. You reject almost every form of globalization, whether it be aid to foreign countries, free trade, exporting jobs, immigration…. the list goes on. WWJD.
6. You hate taxes. Since when is acquiring wealth important? What’s wrong with giving up a little more income? We know that it impacts your ability to acquire possessions. Good, right? And yes, I know you offset your guilt by donating on average $700+ per year to your church. WWJD.
7. You secretly like science. You’re not allowed to. Many of you rely on it, use it, work in the field and still believe that Santa Claus Jesus rose after his death, walked on water, healed the sick (maybe this is why you oppose health care), and probably saved your life or talked to you in a dream. You need to embrace science and help us improve life on earth for all current and future peoples. WWJD.
8. You like wars and firearms. You’re really just following the lead here, not your fault. Religions or conflicting religious beliefs are responsible for the vast majority of wars and violent conflicts in the world. I can’t seem to recall a teaching of Jesus that favored violence. WWJD.
9. You kill people. Yes, maybe they were convicted by a jury of their peers, but we’re one of the only developed nations that still have a death penalty. That one is on you. WWJD.
10. You block health-care reform. I said it again. It deserves both #1 and #10. Why do you pump $35 Billion every year into churches, according to the 75th Yearbook of American & Canadian Churches.  That’s $350,000,000,000 in 10 years. Since I’ve offered proof that you clearly dislike Jesus, I suggest we use half that cash to help support health-care legislation and the other half to improve the life of the poor who Jesus (not you) cared so much about.

Yes, I’m not religious, I don’t believe, but I do have morals. WWJD.

My liver has started the preparation process for what FEMALE_DINK has scheduled for my  birthday. This year I’m lucky enough to not only have my birthday (October, 24th) on a Saturday but also on the day that Cleveland Beer Week wraps up the festivities with a party termed “BREWzilla.” The massive beer tasting event with over 50 breweries will be a perfect birthday event. Yes, event. That’s not all though… for the first time in my life (I’m not normally a big supporter of my own birthday) this will be a birthday WEEK. Why not? Now I have an excuse to attend a Cleveland Beer Week event Every. Single. Day.

On Friday, October 16th, FEMALE_DINK and I are going to start off the 9 day celebration of beer. This night will include an event called Dogfish Head Landing at Southside in Tremont (one of many favorite spots in Cleveland). This event features their 90min IPA, but also will include a first time revealing of a few special brews.

Bring on Saturday! It wasn’t easy to fit something into this day as our previously scheduled Clambake starts at 3pm and ends whenever the Guinness keg runs out (which is usually never). Have no fear, we’ll be at the Ommegang Beer and Cheese Pairing hosted by Beer Engine in Lakewood.

Sunday and Monday will likely be two of the best days for my personal trip around Cleveland Beer Week. On Sunday we have the Trappist Beer Brunch at one of my favorite brunch spots Tremont Tap House. On Monday (after what is likely to be an attempt at working), we have Crop/Stone Beer Dinner at Crop Bistro in downtown Cleveland. I have yet to make it to Crop in my 4+ years of living downtown and I’m ashamed of that… time to end it.

Tuesday and Wednesday are what I would term filler events. We have some scheduled happy hours (or a bit later) for each day. Tuesday will be the Pint Night with Flying Dog and New Holland. Wednesday will be the Victory Tasting. Both events are being hosted by the Map Room. I’m a fan of Flying Dog and Victory. New Holland has been a recent addition to my beer experiences. Their Full Circle brew has been on tap at my favorite restaurant in the Cleveland, Greenhouse Tavern.

Thursday comes in as a close runner up to the Sunday/Monday combo. This night we will be at the It’s FIRKIN alive beer tasting event which is hosted onsite at the Indigo Imp Brewery (the newest addition to Cleveland breweries). We’ve been a regular at their PIMP the IMP events hosted by Bier Markt over the past few months.

Down the home stretch on Friday, October 23rd (at lunch) is the House and Guest Beer Promo at Cornerstone Brewing Company. This will be a nice break in the work day and likely result in not returning to the office (I’ve had this day blocked off for weeks).

Saturday, October 24th (my birthday), ends with the aforementioned  BREWzilla. I say bring it on Cleveland Beer Week. This cannot possibly get better, well I’m sure FEMALE_DINK will find a way to do it.

We went to Homecoming this weekend. Strange, right? None of those awkward slow dances or tufted dresses though. A lot of alchool, for certain. None of that from spiked punch.

I still find it hilarious that in MALE_DINK’s college territory, the spice of life was found at an… Applebee’s (OMG, the sampler food there is HORRIBLE). Far be it from me to judge — by attending two different commuter schools, we enjoyed such fine dining establishments as Becky’s. Or surviving public speaking engagements by downing tall boys at that disgusting Rascal House. Blech.

We did have a great weekend though — had some Presto sandwiches for the drive down for lunch. A little tailgating, a little more drinking. Met some of his college friends; tried to hit on a few new ones (I have female canoodling issues… and THEIR boyfriends don’t typically like my closeness with their women… heh). I had a horrendous attempt at cornhole; somewhat of a saving grace with a decent game of Darts. His alma mater, again, had an ass-whooping of a football game by half-time. Loved some other peoples’ babies (where the one kid subconsciously told me that I did NOT need a cheeseburger by knocking it out of my hands). I pondered why a college university needed 52 cheerleaders (my junior college even only accepted 6). A dive bar called “the ‘Hood” that had a killer jukebox (be still my Doobie Brothers-loving heart) and way too many pitchers of lite beer.

Taco Bell and SNL in the hotel room to close out the night.

Being a college alum is exhausting. Especially when you’re the oldest one at the table.

D ining: Fish! I ate salmon and tuna maki and sashimi (hand-rolled at home by the one-and-only Chef MALE_DINK) for my FIRST TIME EVER. It is the first consumption of fish in years. A day later, we were offered free appetizers at the restaurant, where I was able to have seared crusted tuna from the menu. OMG, delicious.

Salmon and Tuna Maki & Sashimi

I ntolerance: No, I do NOT love intolerance, but I’m hoping for a serious wake-up call to Cleveland residents. Unfortunately, our city is nestled within (the largest county in our state, Cuyahoga) what feels like a very small area of Ohio that votes blue, while majority mostly bleeds red (even if political outlets consider us “purple”). And with that, the Gay Games 2014 have selected Cleveland as its next host town. I told MALE_DINK if, for whatever reason, we’re not in Cleveland, we need to come back to experience this. It. Is. HUGE. for our city. You cannot even imagine. I hope this changes a bit of the LBGT intolerance that is experienced being a mostly-conservative state. We’ve got five years. Then we’ll work on those psychos at the abortion clinics.

N om nom nom (restaurants): Another WONDERFUL article raving about the man who lends a yummy hand to East 4th — where we live in Cleveland. That man, being Chef Jonathon Sawyer of The Greenhouse Tavern, of course.

I used to have dreams... about his pomme frites.

K iddies: One of my besties, who I have been friends with since elementary school, had her first child today. Congrats! I will ooh-and-ahh at your son and all his cuteness… but that does NOT mean I want my own (no matter how many times you ask, “Don’t you want one?”). Babysitting is free of charge. So long as it’s during the week.

A co-worker of mine today had a conversation with her daughter in college about the responsibilities of owning a dog. Rewind…. errrrrrrr (cheesy rewinding sound of 1991 cassette tape)… So, her daughter and boyfriend called to let the mom (my co-worker) know that they are considering adding a baby dog to their life (oh yes, “their life” as in the boy she’s been dating for 3 WEEKS! a.k.a not really a boyfriend). Well, it was Friday and we thought the next 45min at work would best be spent laughing about the reasons why a sophomore girl and senior guy who have been dating for 3 WEEKS! (and only have known each other that long) should not get a baby dog.

BACKGROUND: Said daughter wanted a TURTLE a few weeks earlier but decided against it because “it was too much work to take care of.” Read on at your own risk.

We (the mom and two co-workers) decided to call the daughter after spending a good time laughing and joking about all the reasons this was insane. Oh wait, first mom sent daughter (based on my suggestion) a text message that read “Dogs are as much work as a Baby”. HAHAHA. And here we go…

Now, with the daughter on a conference line (and her boyfriend and other friend listening in)… the reasons why Dog = Baby. Both need feeding, both require the cleanup of shit, both can’t be left home without a sitter, both are expensive, both require training in the early years, both require vaccination shots, both require doctor visits, both can get the flu and require medicine, both wake you up at night, both bite strangers, both destroy your personal property, both require your attention…. and … drum roll please…

Both a Dog and Baby will destroy a relationship. Done. Have a nice life.

There are two fantastic articles you MUST read about Cleveland:

First, was published in the New York Times this past July. That front page photo? Yeah, this is where we live in downtown Cleveland. It’s beyond awesome to walk out our front door to a bustling citylife of food and entertainment.

Secondly, New York Times came back AGAIN for another lovely travel piece called “36 Hours in Cleveland,” published this past week. Many of our favorite places are on that list. We have plenty more to recommend, if ever you find yourself in our hometown.

Forbes does not like Cleveland for whatever reason, and we seemingly place on many asinine “worst of” lists. It’s nice to receive accolades from such a renowned publication.